Hey fellow parents, caregivers, and anyone who’s ever had the delight (and, let's be honest, slight terror) of nurturing a tiny human being! Today, let's talk about the whirlwind world of fostering self-worth in children. So hold on tight, because just like trying to leave your house on time with kids, this journey is unpredictable but absolutely worth it!
From babbling babies to chatty (lippy) preteens: The growth of self-worth
Self-worth in kids is like planting a tree. You start with a tiny seed (infancy), nurture it through unpredictable weather (toddler tantrums, anyone?), and before you know it, you've got a sapling standing tall (hello, preteens!). But what exactly is this magical tree of self-worth?
Where it all begins
Self-worth, is that warm, fuzzy feeling inside that whispers, “Hey, I’m pretty awesome!” This doesn't mean they'll be washing their superhero cape every night (because, let’s be real, kids' confidence can be as stable as a Jenga tower during an earthquake). But it does mean they believe in their own value.
In the early years, self-worth is all about the basics: love, security, encouragement, and maybe letting them wear that superhero cape to the grocery store (because why not?). It’s about celebrating the small wins, like finally eating a vegetable without a UN-level negotiation.
As kids morph into preteens and teenagers, self-worth starts feeling like a rollercoaster ride, where the highs are sky-high, and the lows are, well, let’s just say, challenging. Their bodies are changing, their social world is evolving, and suddenly, they’re speaking a language you’re pretty sure wasn’t part of your last family holiday.
Cultivating self-worth: A parent’s toolbox:
Active listening: This is like gold in the world of parenting. Listen to their stories, their worries, and their random thoughts about why pizza should be a breakfast food. Active listening shows you value their opinions, even if those opinions are about pizza for breakfast.
Encouragement over praise: Instead of a generic “Great job!” try “I really like how you helped your brother with his crazy Lego project.” Encouragement is about acknowledging their efforts, not just the outcome (even if that Lego project looks like a UFO).
Mistakes are OK: Teach them that mistakes are not the end of the world, but stepping stones. After all, how many of us have accidentally turned a white load of laundry pink? Or in my case, shrunk my husband's clothes in the tumble dryer!!. It’s a learning curve (and now you have a new set of pink socks and some of your husbands clothes that are too small for him, but fit you perfectly).
Promote problem-solving: Instead of swooping in like a superhero every time they face a challenge, let them play detective. Guiding them to find their own solutions boosts their self-worth like a power-up in a video game.
Open discussions about changes: Preteens and teens undergo so many changes it could make a chameleon dizzy. Have open, honest, and age-appropriate discussions. It’s awkward, but so is 90% of parenting.
Role modelling: Remember, little eyes are always watching. Show them how you handle failure, stress, and success. If you’re treating yourself like a rock star, chances are they will too.
Hobbies and interests: Encourage hobbies (even if that means tolerating questionable music choices or art projects that leave your living room looking like a Jackson Pollock painting).
The teenage twilight zone: As kids enter the teenage twilight zone, remember, their self-worth is still a work in progress. There will be eye rolls (too many in my household), doors slamming, and moments when you wonder if aliens replaced your sweet child. But with patience, love, and a sense of humour, you’ll watch that self-worth tree blossom.
Wrapping it up with a bow (and maybe some duct tape): Raising a child with a healthy sense of self-worth is like building a Lego castle without instructions – it requires patience, creativity, and the occasional stepping on a Lego piece (ouch!). But the result? A confident, resilient young person ready to take on the world, cape and all.
So, keep nurturing, keep listening, and maybe, just maybe, try that pizza for breakfast. Who knows? It might just be the next big thing in parenting hacks.
I am always here to help, please reach out to me if you would like additional support for your child.
I hope this helps!
Good Luck Parents.
Love CJ x